http://www.Laughs-a-Lot Blog

Have a party! Not just ANY party! Have a costume party! Have you become so engrossed in life’s struggles that you’ve forgotten how to have fun? Did I miss the message that said costumes are for Halloween and forget the rest of the year? Bah, Humbug! I don’t believe it. Sure Halloween is big, but who says a person can’t have a Masquerade Ball or costume party anytime? Visit Spook Shop and get some ideas for costumes, follow the links for purchase of YOUR ideal hidden identity and the decorations for the party. Get your friends involved and see if I’m not right. Everyone likes to pretend, even for just a little while, that they are someone else. Costume Parties are NOT just for Halloween! Wherever did you get that idea?

Ok, so it’s the middle of summer and it’s hot, so you’re thinking ‘who wants to put on a hot costume now?’. And I ask you, who says it has to be a hot and heavy costume? There are plenty of them that are light and airy. Not to mention if you do some scanning you will find decorations and costumes for, oh, I don’t know, a luau? How about that? Grass skirts and coconuts and leis and margaritas, oops, no I don’t have margaritas, but you get the idea. I’ve just begun the site and will be adding pages for links to grass skirts and the like but you CAN find them at the links to purchase that ARE there. I wanted a one-stop-shop for combining the best parts of several sites so YOU don’t have to go all over trying to figure out where to go. Spook Shop will give you links to a variety of places to get good deals on ‘Halloween’ or Luaus or whatever. There are costumes for lots of holiday, Thanksgiving, Christmas and more.

Yes, of course, Halloween is the biggie. But don’t you know it’s right around the corner, and there are a ton of sales RIGHT NOW? So, what’s stopping you? Release your inner child and dress up!

Visit Zazzle where you can also get t-shirts and cups and invitations and much more, and add your own information on anything. Inside the cards, add your invitation information. Add writing to anything. There are cups that can be changed as to style, caps, t-shirts and more. Design your own invitations and even make stamps! Check that one out too!

I have found a really cool place to help make money with affiliate programs. Check out the link

http://www.zazzle.com/brandyhouse There’s the link, check it out. I have been soooo busy scattered and not knowing what to do that I’ve let my zazzle shop miss the 4th! So I will have to play catch up and get some stuff on there for the patriotic side of everyone. And I need to add some more funny stuff. Go check it out now and bookmark it so you can check again soon. I already have Halloween but I will be adding more. Trying to catch all the holidays and even the days that aren’t so holi, lol.

My son thinks I’m too diversified, scattered and into too much to make money at any of it. I keep thinking that if I just keep at it then it will be good. Problem is, time is flying and getting really short. So, I have to work on what is already there and not so much on the new ideas. I am fast realizing there just isn’t enough time in a day. I need at least 28 hours but that ain’t gonna happen. Gee whiz, all I really want to do is paint or draw, create new things and make a $ doing it.

And I’m working on a new site, which I will tell you about later, after its up. All I can tell you is that it’s gonna be about….naw, I’ll wait. Suspense is good.

Meanwhile, go visit zazzle and see what you think. You can visit other shops from my link, there is some really cool stuff there, and I get credit if you go from my link, hint hint. Hey! I gotta make a buck too! See you soon, Brandy

Everyone says it. ‘They’ all tell you that laughter makes you feel better. Well, it’s true. Just try to stay angry and laugh too. It doesn’t work. You get jokes in your e-mail, and you laugh. You get jokes on your phone, or at work via fax (do they still do that?). So, go to shitzngigglez and get over 1100 pages of giggles and laughs. Safe for all ages. My granddaughter has read both volumes and she’s 11. Not to mention, I still have the $4 deal going on. What? You expect me to give it away? Geez! It took months to put them together! Not to mention having them printed. I can’t afford to just give it to you, bits and pieces maybe. Hummmm. Ok here’s a ‘bit’

Just in case you weren’t feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year’s incoming freshmen. Here’s this year’s list:

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1985. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

The CD was introduced the year they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can’t imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don’t know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: “Where’s the Beef?”, “I’d walk a mile for a Camel”, or “de plane Boss, de plane”.

They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.

McDonald’s never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don’t have a clue how to use a typewriter. Do you feel old yet?

Some of you will remember life before….some of you won’t. Those that do will reminisce, those that don’t will wonder what we are talking about.

So, try this

A little prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles please no bags
And please lift my butt before it sags.
Please no age spots please no gray
And as for my belly, please take it away.
Please keep me healthy please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord for all that you’ve done.

Foot Note: One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:

 “If we don’t get some support soon, people will think we’re nuts.”

Don’t worry young people, you will get there!

For a limited time I will add a discount to the download version of ‘Net Wit volume 1 or 2. I will add a paypal button that will let you download either book for $4. That is more than 40% off! Here’s a link for Volume 1 and another for Volume 2 Now how easy is that?

You will find the discount pay pal button on each page in red! I won’t keep this offer open forever so get yours today! You still have the option of getting the real book and getting the download free. It’s your choice.

While I’m at it check out another site where you can make money. Sign on FREE for a 7 day trial, then it’s just $10 per month for hosting and you get your own site so you can do the same thing! Here’s a link!

How about a crazy video? Check this one out!

Ok, maybe that’s enough for one day. Thanks for visiting!

Ok, I’m back. Apparently ‘looking for love in all the wrong places’. I’m getting visitors to my blog but Not many viewers to my site. So what’s up with that? Y’all supposed to at least look around. Who knows you might find something you like! I mean durn. I put up funny pictures and stuff and gettin no lookies????

Not to mention no book bites. I mean gee!
Here go check out this video

That’s funny right? Not to mention all the jokes and short funny stories in my ‘Net Wit books.
I’ve got those so you can download them for $6.95. Where else are you gonna get 600 pages of laughs for $7?
Wow! Y’all are tough.
So, what? You think I should give it away? I already give you the download FREE if you buy the book. Well, I gotta go wait for my granddaughter to get home froom school so I’ll have to add more later. But at least think about it OK?

I’ve added pages to my site http://www.shitzngigglez.com  New pages, new pictures and a few giggles.

I’ve been thinking about splitting my ‘Net Wit books into smaller books, less pages per book and making them cost less. Maybe do a chapter per each subject, like have 1 book for kids jokes, and another for mens, another for women and so on. If I made them say 80 to 100 pages and sold them for $8 each maybe people would be more likely to buy. Send me some e-mails and let me know what you think,  brandy@shitzngigglez.com.

I would still keep the large books but it could be the smaller ones would be easier to sell.

How about a full color book of the odd or funny pictures? It could be done as a download, as can the rest of them. The big ones are already available for download but they are still just sitting there. Anybody know why? Ideas?

Ok, you want a giggle, right? Let me look and see what I’ve got…

Ok. Here’s one fitting for Mother’s Day!

An Eloping Daughter’s Letter to Her Mom.

A mother enters her daughter’s bedroom and sees a letter on the bed. With the worst premonition, she reads it, with trembling hands:

         It is with great regret and sorrow that I ‘m telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend. Found real passion and he is so nice, with all his piercings and tattoos and his big motorcycle. But it is not only that mom, I’ m pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s one of my dreams.

         I’ve learned that marijuana doesn’t hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it for us and his friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasies we may want. In the meantime, we’ll pray for science to find the AIDS cure, for Ahmed to get better.  He deserves it.

        Don’t worry Mom, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I’ll visit so you will get to know your grandchildren.

Your daughter,

Judith

 PS: Mom, it’s not true. I’m at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to show you that there are worst things in life than the school’s report card that’s in my desk’s drawer…I love you!

See you soon, and give me some ideas!!!

A New Horizon « DNA1datanetworkaffiliate’s Blog

I’ve been so busy with my new business,

http://house12.datanetworkaffiliates.com/content/default.aspx  that I’ve let other stuff idle, shame on me. Well, I’ll try to make it up a little bit. Thank all of you that have joined, or subscribed to my blog. It’s nice to know that people are paying attention. If you got here from my site, shitzngigglez.com then you know I have a couple books out there for all of you nice people to check out. Of course you have to buy them first, but hey the pdf is fairly inexpensive. I keep giving you bits and pieces here but you would enjoy the book more, hint hint.

So, I guess you’d like a little entertainment. Hummmm, what shall I do.

A Funeral

A young preacher was asked by the local funeral director to hold a graveside burial service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends.

The preacher started early but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong turns. Eventually, a half-hour late, he saw a backhoe and its crew, but the hearse was nowhere in sight, and the workmen were eating lunch.

The diligent young pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place.

Taking out his book, he read the service. Feeling guilty because of his tardiness, he preached an impassioned and lengthy service, sending the deceased to the great beyond in style.

As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say: “I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years and I ain’t never seen anything like that.”

Kinda gives a whole new meaning to being planted, don’t it?

How about this one

Our Medical System…  

Doesn’t it seem that more and more physicians are running their practices like an assembly line? Here’s what happened to Buford:

Buford walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had.

Buford said, Shingles. So she wrote down his name, address, and medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aid came out and asked Buford what he had.

Buford said, Shingles.

So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Buford to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Buford what he had.

Buford said, Shingles.

So she gave Buford a blood test, a blood pressure test, Electrocardiogram, told Buford to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and asked Buford what he had.

Buford said, Shingles.

The doctor asked, Where?

Buford said, Outside on the truck. Where do you want them?

 — David Luce

See, I didn’t write that one and I gave credit to the person that did, not that I personally wrote any of them.

Ok, that’s all you get for this time. back soon.

Hi, all, and welcome to a new addition to my pages. For those of you who are new subscribers, thank you, thank you very much. LOL. For those returning to visit, Hiya! For all of your information, I spent a few hours getting my stupid Pay Pal buttons fixed so they would go where they are suppose to. Geez, what a PITA. Of course the point being getting all of you wonderful people into the “WOW, I gotta have it” mode and giving you the ability to purchase ‘Net Wit 1 or 2 or both. You may have been to shitzngigglez.com and saw the covers of both books, however you did not get the innards. Some of what is inside is also on this blog, but if you really want to get the full effect, ya gotta order the book! They are available as ebooks or pdf files, which are pretty inexpensive, especially since you’re getting 600 pages of funny stuff. You also have the option of ordering the REAL book and getting the download FREE.

Well, I guess I can give you another sample;

SEVEN REASONS TO CRAWL UNDER A ROCK,

 CURL UP AND DIE.

1.) I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, “How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blowjob?

Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin TX

2.) An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as best I could, so I asked my 6-year-old daughter to run and get me a pad. She came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest.

Kate Newman, 36, Winston-Salem, NC

3.) I was taking a shower when my 2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper.. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera! Name Withheld

4.) I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women’s type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who work at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, “I think I like playing with men’s balls.”

Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI

5.) My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, “No, I’m just looking at your nuts.” My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

Faye Emerick, Ellerslie, MD

6.) A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear, “PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE.” That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word “Tampax” for THUMBTACKS.” In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. “DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?”

Name Withheld

7.) A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principal’s office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. “I thought I told you to call your Mom,” she screamed.

“I did he said, “And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she’d come and pick me up from school.

If you’re done laughing go ahead and get the book. You won’t be sorry.

http://www.shitzngigglez.com